The rules of etiquette: the classical traditions of behavior of educated people

January 05, 2019 09:00 | The Art Of Negotiation

Etiquette is a historical phenomenon. All the rules of etiquette, which are expressed in certain forms of behavior, combine the moral, ethical and aesthetic aspects of life. The first side expresses a moral standard: precautionary care, respect, protection. The second side talks about beauty, grace of forms of human behavior.

  • Recommendations of an expert on etiquette and protocol
  • Etiquette as a set of laws of communication
  • Etiquette rules for babies
  • Communication with friends and loved ones
  • Etiquette rules when meeting with parents
  • Conduct rules at the table
  • Etiquette in business atmosphere


Etiquette as a code of laws of communication

Already in a long-time primitive society, during joint labor, certain requirements and standards of behavior were developed for all members of society. The oldest codes of conduct that have survived to this day, were created five thousand years ago. The Ancient Chinese "Book of Historical Legends" lists five basic human positive qualities: philanthropy, loyalty, wisdom, reverence for the elders, courage.

Over time, new customs, customs, and morality appeared. The norms of behavior were perfected for centuries, merged into the concept of “etiquette” - a specific code of conduct, norms, duties that people should adhere to in different life situations.

Etiquette rules for babies

The youngest children already know how to wave a pen or smile when they meet. Dads teach boys to give a hand for strong grip, and mothers introduce kids to the playground, even if at the same time the baby looks out from behind the back of parents.

Raising a child, without even noticing it, adults teach him etiquette lessons, the rules for communicating with peers( “Greet the friend”, “You cannot take the toys, you need to ask permission”, “You have to let the girl forward and protect”) and the older ones( “Give mother flowers "," Go and meet dad from work "," Help your grandmother to bring the package ").

Later, the children will learn to use the cutlery, thank the mother for the cooked dinner, behave properly in guests and in people.

Teach children the rules of etiquette from an early age. It is a shame for schoolchildren who do not give way to older people in transport. And to teach a child, as you know, is easiest by his own example. After all, parents for him and authority, and an example to follow. Follow the rules of etiquette yourself, and your child will know and apply them.

Communication with friends and loved ones

If friends constantly send different stuff( pictures, unnecessary links) to the work box, distracting from work, then the best way is to ignore it. Set a spam filter and the question whether the pictures are received, answer what is not, as they are screened as an attack.

If women try to elicit personal details, they can either refuse to answer or confide, keeping silent about intimate details and not talk about the person behind the eyes of anything that cannot be said to his face.

If an invitation to a party or a visit came to the girl, but she is going to go there with a young man, you need to first ask the organizers of the holiday whether it is possible to come not alone.

If after a gathering in a cafe, friends decide to split the bill equally, you can say that they did not intend to spend a large amount of money today and pay only for themselves.

On a date, I wanted to eat, then you need to boldly say this to the gentleman, perhaps he will invite the lady to the cafe. But do not order the most expensive dishes, because visiting the restaurant was not planned, and the bill can put a man in an awkward position.

When parting, it is better to say everything at a personal meeting, not limited to e-mail, besides, this confirms the firm intention not to meet again.

Should a woman take an expensive gift from a fan to whom she is indifferent? The rules of etiquette leave it to the discretion of the woman herself, but this does not oblige her to anything. If the gift is unpleasant, you can return it with the explanation that it is not possible to give something equivalent.

If a man brags about his former successes on a personal front, you can safely explain to him that it is unpleasant to listen to a woman. As an argument, you can ask a man if he will like the story of a woman’s victories.

The rules of etiquette when meeting with parents of

Getting acquainted with the parents of the second half, I want to make the best impression while remaining myself and observing the norms of public etiquette.

No need to show your excitement, you should not try to hide it under the mask of bravado and relaxedness, it is better to behave naturally.

It is not customary, being the first time visiting potential relatives, to start a conversation about the furnishings and interior of the house. Sitting at the table, you need to take a place indicated by the owners of the house. Be sure to follow the straightened posture and not relax at the table.

You do not need to be excessively active from the very beginning of your acquaintance, to take the initiative of a conversation. It is better to behave correctly and modestly, to answer questions from the groom's parents. To tell about the first day of acquaintance about yourself is necessary only when the owners themselves ask about it.

It is impolite to refuse the proposed treat, otherwise you can seriously offend a potential mother-in-law or mother-in-law. It is advisable to try all the food offered by the hostess, and be sure to express admiration for their taste.

We must try to stretch one glass of liquor for the whole evening, not yielding to the tricks of sly father-in-law or father-in-law, making toasts and pouring in alcohol.

Girls should not smoke when they first met; young people can smoke only after an offer from the owner.

If a holiday has become a reason for dating, then you should take care of the gifts to your parents in advance. You can not give pets, except in cases where it is precisely known that a certain animal is required. Perfume, personal cosmetics and underwear are also taboo, because only a close enough person can study the tastes of a hostess. Shirts and ties are given only to relatives, so you should not present them to your future father-in-law or father-in-law on the first day of their acquaintance. It is better to choose beautiful flowers in a neutral package, find a good book.

No need to stretch your visit, you shouldn’t be sitting at a party. Leaving the house, you need to invite the parents of the bride or groom in return.

Table of Conduct Rules

Eating etiquette is conditioned by traditions and national peculiarities. But the general rules are the same; every cultured person must know their minimum.

First women are invited to the table, and then men. Late for a dinner party and dinner is considered unacceptable. They sit down to the table, observing a certain distance of comfort - not close, but not very far.

Sitting at the dinner table, elbows can not be put on the table, an exception is made sometimes for women, but only for a small period of time.

Buns, take bread, break, not cut with a knife. You cannot bite from whole pieces of bread; small pieces break off from them. Even children are not allowed to roll breadcrumbs into balls, play with instruments, napkins. Head while eating low do not tilt over the plate, gently bring a spoon or fork to your mouth. Drinking and eating should be silently, without chomping, without sipping loudly. It is indecent to eat quickly, even if a person is very hungry.

The knife must be held with the right hand and the fork with the left. However, they do not use a knife, according to the rules of etiquette, when they eat spaghetti( you need to use a fork and a large spoon), seafood( crayfish should be taken by hand, and shrimps are prickly with a fork, for crabs, lobsters, lobsters there are special tweezers), fish, jelly and puddingsYou can use a fork or spoon).

When Yury Gagarin was invited after the flight to the Queen of England to the palace and offered a treat, spreading out a huge number of different forks and knives on the table, the great cosmonaut was embarrassed. Queen Elizabeth came to his aid, saying that although she grew up in the palace and knows the rules of etiquette by heart, she still does not remember the purpose of all these devices. If at the reception a person does not know how to behave, you can simply watch others or ask for advice.

Etiquette in a business atmosphere

By observing the rules of etiquette at work, a person forms his positive, reliable image of a competent and knowledgeable, well-bred partner. Experienced employers pay particular attention to etiquette.

Need to be punctual and time correctly. You can not talk too much to others, to discuss the employer and colleagues. One should think not only about oneself, but also about the interests of partners.

You should dress according to the rules of a particular society. Be sure to follow the correctness and purity of speech. Diction, intonation, pronunciation should be clear. It is unacceptable to use obscene words. The ability to listen to the interlocutor is a valuable quality.