How to find a topic for conversation: what to talk about and how to break the prolonged silence

January 05, 2019 21:30 | The Art Of Negotiation

Which is better to pick up topics for a conversation with a guy? What to talk on the first date? How to behave in an unfamiliar company? We are ready to talk about all this. After reviewing the information, you will not feel embarrassed when the situation develops so that you are left alone with an unfamiliar person. Of course, you may not start a conversation at all, but more often than not, for some reason you need to start it all the same. Let's discard embarrassment and try to find topics for communication.

  • Introduce yourself in an unfamiliar company!
  • Ways to search for a topic for conversation
  • 1) Find something good in the interviewer
  • 2) Look for a topic for conversation around you
  • 3) Find common interests
  • 4) Do not hesitate to ask questions
  • Non-verbal communication for the sympathy of the interlocutor
  • in the mirror "
  • " I listen to our breath "
  • The best topics to talk with the guy
  • Video about the types of people and the rules of communication with them

Introduce yourself in an unfamiliar company!

Or ask to introduce you to a stranger( or people).It’s good if this is a small presentation: “This is Natalia, we go to workouts together” or “My friend works in real estate”.Such ideas give the course of conversation, cause mutual friendliness, especially with the coincidence of interests. Most likely, the topic will be developed, thanks to clarifying questions, both from your side and from the side of the interlocutor.

Ways to search for a topic for conversation

By the way, in the olden days all the nobles of the nobility knew how to break an awkward silence. This art was taught on a par with French, dance and etiquette. Now, in a situation where you need to say something, many do not know how to find a topic for conversation. Modern youth are not taught this either at school or at home. Many girls are embarrassed, not knowing what to pick up topics for conversation with a guy. And sometimes the guys do not know what to talk with the girl. But we know several ways.

1) Find in the interlocutor something good

Look at the person who, by chance or if you wish, was near you. What is he like? Find in it what makes it different from others, and mark it about yourself. Perhaps you will not give this value, but your face will change significantly. The interviewee will see a genuine interest on your part, since it is noticeable even with the naked eye. The most unfriendly interlocutor will feel this and give you their location. Do not forget to make a compliment in return. If this is a woman, you can praise her clothes or her hair. Such a replica will set up a positive perception of the environment.

2) Look for a topic to talk around you

If you are at a party, you can discuss contests, the number of guests, the mood of the heroes of the occasion. Even if you think out loud about the objects that surround you, this can be a good topic for conversation. If your interlocutor is of the opposite sex, you can ask typical female or male questions. So, a woman can ask what she thinks about the design of the room. With a man, you can talk on automotive topics. In addition, to somehow start a conversation, you can offer your interlocutor drinks.

3) Find the common interests of

. Meyer Rothschild once said the famous phrase: "Who owns the information, he owns the world."The statement still has not lost its relevance. So, if you look at the news before you go to the party, you will be aware of the latest current events, which means you can easily start a conversation and support it. Especially successful are topics related to your city. Prepare the streets for any holiday, weather forecast, the arrival of any of the artists or politicians. When such important topics related to the native year are discussed, very few people stand aside. Most people immediately enter into conversation. If you find that you have something similar with the other person, say so.“And I also have a child of the same age as you”, “It turns out that we studied in the same school!”, “I also love indoor plants”.Such replicas contribute to the fact that the conversation flows easily and freely, without unnecessary pauses. In addition, there are new topics for conversation.

4) Feel free to ask questions

But avoid questions that require a monosyllabic yes or no. Ask your interlocutor, where he works, what he enjoys. Psychologists say that all people love to talk about themselves, and therefore willingly go to the contact. But asking questions, do not forget about the rules of ethics. So, it is not accepted to ask questions that relate to the appearance of the interlocutor, his material support. Do not ask about salary, height, weight, size. In no case do not criticize relatives, friends and loved ones of the person with whom you speak, if you do not want to amass yourself an enemy.

Speak on abstract topics. But do not be embarrassed, if the interlocutor persistently continues to play in silence, do not take on his account his coldness. Perhaps silence is one of the peculiarities of his temperament, or the person is simply not in the mood. In this case, it is better to stop pestering him.

Non-verbal communication for the sympathy of the interlocutor of

It is completely easy to tune out the gestures and facial expressions to the interlocutor. If you manage to do this, the person will be able to speak openly and confidentially with you. Psychologists identify several non-verbal ways to position a person to yourself and start a conversation with him.

“I look at you like a mirror”

If you copy gestures, facial expressions, words of the interlocutor, you will show him at a subconscious level that you are comfortable enough with him. Just imagine that you are a mirror image of your interlocutor. If he put his right foot on his left, do the opposite: put his left foot on his right. It does not attract too much attention, but they are part of non-verbal communication. Psychologists do not recommend copying “protective” gestures( for example, crossing hands on the chest), since the interlocutor may perceive them as hostile.

After a few minutes of communication with his “mirror”, the interlocutor will take you “for himself” willy-nilly. After all, the same posture suggests that people are somewhat similar. The corresponding signal enters the brain, and the person begins to relate to the interlocutor friendly.

“I Hear Our Breath”

Another way to tune in to the interlocutor's “wave” is to tune in to his breathing. Then communication will become trusting on a subconscious level. You can breathe in time with the interlocutor, after watching the rhythm of his breathing. And you can just shake your foot in the rhythm of the interlocutor's breathing or speak to the beat of his breathing - try to pronounce your phrases on his exhalation. To understand the rhythm your interlocutor breathes, watch his chest.

The best topics for a conversation with a guy

Fate decreed that you were alone with a person who you like. But with excitement, you cannot say a word, but there is no need to talk about non-verbal communication. Try to quickly figure out what you already know about this guy and think about what topics might be interesting to him. Ask questions( remembering the norms of ethics), talk about yourself( just carefully monitoring that the dialogue with the guy does not turn into a monologue about your life).If you have something in common in life( work, study, hobbies) - fine, discuss this aspect. If there is nothing in common, remember these themes, perhaps they will be appropriate for the situation:

  • music( which artists he likes, why);
  • cinema( you can discuss new items);
  • sport( what kind of sport is he interested in, is he a fan of any football team);
  • favorite places in your city;
  • work or study( if you want to talk about it);
  • pets.

Try to discuss any topics so that the conversation does not look like an interrogation. It is better to first talk about yourself( I watched such a movie last week), and then ask about the guy’s attitude to the same events.

Video about the types of people and the rules for communicating with themThis has the interlocutor to you at an unconscious level. After all, the sounds of a proper name are the most pleasant sounds for any person.