Relations with people: how to build relationships in the family and in the team

January 06, 2019 00:00 | The Art Of Negotiation

There is a saying: be simple, and people will reach for you. Our life consists of many unnecessary trifles: quarrels, disagreements, offenses. This is something that does not in the best way affect our emotional state. If you often recall these simple truths about relationships with people( and, if necessary, reread them), life will be better, life will be more fun. Do not believe? Feel free to check, we will not advise the bad!

  • How to improve relations with others
  • Listen more - speak less
  • What you give away and get
  • All meetings on your way are not accidentalTo be able to forgive is the great art of
  • . Do not argue - it is a waste of time.
  • Appreciate your dear people. Psychologists talk about building relationships in the family

How to improve relations with others

Listen more - speak less

Listening is also an art.80% of the time communication is desirable that you are silent, and only 20% - said. Make it a rule: before you express your thoughts out loud, listen to the position of the interlocutor. During the hearing in our memory there are memories associated with personal experience that we want to bring into the dialogue. But our experience may be completely different from what the other person is trying to convey to us.

Hurry up with conclusions - there will be a misunderstanding. If you want to share your experience, first listen carefully to your interlocutor. Try to teach yourself not to enter into a conversation until the other person has finished speaking. And when you finish, mentally count to three, and only then speak. This is necessary in case the interlocutor simply wants to formulate a better idea. If you want to make sure that everyone understood correctly, repeat the main points and ask if you understood correctly.

What you give it and get

And it's true. Or do you think that in response to accusations, whims and insults you will be showered with roses? Want to be understood? Understand yourself! Want to help you? Help and you! The formula "everything returns" worked, works and will work. Definitely.

All the meetings on your way are not accidental.

Every day we meet and part with some people. From these meetings we must learn something important for ourselves. And to accept or not to accept this life lesson is your business. Someone gets new skills and knowledge, and someone ignores the lessons of life. About such people( ignoring) they say that they do not step on the same rake again, but simply jump on them from the run.

Do not forget that someone from the people we have met helps us to learn something, someone makes us better and someone makes us stronger( this is on the question of parting, emotional pain and other life tests).

People tend to change over time

Yes, yes, people change over the years. And this is completely normal. People change their thoughts, aspirations, and beliefs over time. Do not be upset when someone says that you have changed. In this case, it is not necessary to look for flaws. Most likely, the changes went to your advantage. There is nothing wrong with the fact that you disagreed with a close friend. Perhaps your communication will go to "no."So it is necessary. It is better to maintain warm relations and occasionally meet, than to try to preserve the old friendship, which is no longer there. So you only accumulate irritation.

You shouldn’t fight for a place in a person’s life.

Everyone probably knows the saying “love can't be forced”.But many of her somehow forget. Do not try to win space for yourself in a person’s life. After all, you do not know whether he needs it, and whether you really need it.

Relationships are the ongoing work of

. To build strong and trusting relationships, the active participation of both parties is necessary. And the basis of any relationship is sincerity and mutual respect. If this does not happen, the relationship will collapse.

Knowing to forgive is the great art of

And this art can and should learn. Do not think that forgiveness is a sign of weakness of spirit. If you say “I forgive you” to a person, this does not at all mean “I am mild and cannot be offended, therefore you can ruin my life further”.The words "I forgive you" mean "I will not let the past spoil my future."For this you should let go of all the insults, believe me. And remember: if you have forgiven a person, never go back to the accusations about this. This is the great art of forgiveness. Returned to the accusation - it means that you only said that you forgave, but in fact the offense remained in your soul.

Do not argue - it is a waste of time wasted

And even more so do not quarrel with people. Remember that the days and hours that you spent in a quarrel will never return. The less time you spend on an argument, the more time you have to communicate with good people you love. If you have a dispute with a loved one, try with all your might to keep yourself in hand, do not let your emotions triumph over your mind. In the excited state, you can say the words for which then all your life will be ashamed. There were cases when one carelessly spoken word caused the destruction of relationships.

Appreciate your dear people

Tell your loved ones that you love them and that they are dear to you. Pay attention to them. Do not be afraid to ask for forgiveness. Saying "forgive" is as difficult as answering "no."If you understand that you are wrong, sincerely ask for forgiveness. But if you apologize for what you are not guilty of, it is not quite right.

It is foolish to cling to the past - it is useless to regret about it.

If some people disappear from your life, this may only benefit you. Do not be afraid to change your social circle, because everything changes. If any people bring discomfort into your life, let them go. If, as Vysotsky sang, “your friend suddenly turned out to be neither a friend, nor an enemy, but like that,” perhaps you had better not just communicate. Perhaps some specific time, and perhaps fate will not bring you together anymore.

You shouldn’t feel sorry for the past either. If you make some mistake, regret and contrition will not fix anything. Better tell yourself: everything is in order, this is already in the past, now I focus on the earliest possible solution of the problem.

Change another person you can not

Only the person himself is able to change himself. But he cannot change another person. Learn how to perceive people as they are, if something does not suit you at all, it is better to honestly say so. And if this person loves you, he will be happy to change for you.

Psychologists Tips on Building Relationships in the Family